It really makes me so sad that there are many many situations in life, where I need to act in a very rough way, just to get what I was promised to get. It makes me truly sad, that many times, many people will not take you seriously, if you don’t get mad and if you don’t show them that you will not let them to treat you badly.
In order to show to the people that you will not put with any crap and that you don’t allow them to treat you badly, you will have to wear you monster face. Meaning that you’ll have to raise your tone of voice and show your power. I really hate this.
I faced some situations in my life (like we all have) where I needed to get really, really angry to achieve what should be done in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I know that all of us can make mistakes. The difference here is how you can solve that(those) mistake(s). I will try to illustrate one of the real life examples that I have experienced.
I started with renovation of an old house and I have ordered some construction materials, such as floor tiles and other construction materials. So, I paid the deposit in the store for the ordered material, as they did’t had everything on stock, and I was told that I’ll pay the rest when the goods arrive. They told me that delivery will be around 10-14 days.
After 20 days, I call the store to check if my goods have arrived or if they had maybe written my wrong phone number as they haven’t call to inform me about any delay. The salesman explains to me that there has been a delay and that my goods are just being loaded in the country of origin. Furthermore, he explains that this means that everything will arrive soon, matter of days. Okay, fair enough, I say to my self. Delays can happen, it’s part of every business.
On day 35, I call the store again to check what is causing problems now and the salesman explains that he has no idea what happened and that he just knows that my order has not arrived yet. I ask him politely to check and to get back to me, as I will need to know what is going on. All my other construction works and depending on this, as this one has to be finished first, so that I can install the new kitchen (which should arrive any time now) and other furniture. He doesn’t return my call to inform me about what we agreed.
On day 40, I decide to go directly to the store as I can’t wait any longer and no one has contacted me from my last call. My kitchen is arriving and everything should be prepared before it arrives. All the floor tiles must be in place, walls needs to be finished, the handyman is waiting for my green light to start with the work. Of course he can’t start as materials have not yet arrived. So, in the store the salesman apologises really quickly and explains that he received some other floor tiles. Not the ones that I have ordered. As the difference between the ones that I have ordered and this ones isn’t so big, I decide to take that ones, as who knows when the other ones will arrive. He calls me two days later to confirm with me if I really want the other floor tiles, I confirm and he promises to send the pro forma invoice by the end of the day.
After two days, when there is still no invoice on my email (and I still try to be nice and polite as I understand that people can do mistakes, we all do them), I call the store again for the billion time. The girl on the phone replies with a very bad tone that the offer was sent to my email on Monday. I ask to check the email address is correct, she hardly does so, and we find out that my email address was wrong. Of course it was. So, after this struggle with wrong email and writing down couple of characters succeeds, I receive the invoice finally on my email. When I opened the invoice, the deposit payment that I made 1,5 month ago, was missing. Meaning, that I need to call back again. Ah, another call. Getting a bit frustrated already. After some time calling, finally someone picks up the phone. Again the same rude girl. I explain to her that the invoice is not correct and I ask for correction. Again, with bad attitude she asks me if I cannot just calculate what is the right amount and transfer that amount to them. I really want to snap in that moment, but somehow (I really don’t know how) I manage to control myself and tell her just to do her job and to send me the correct invoice.
I pay the invoice in the same day (not small amounts for construction materials) and ask them to confirm when they receive the payment, to send me the invoice. I also ask them to confirm if I can pick up the goods on Sunday, which is 5 days later (their store works on Sundays). Two days later, on Friday when I don’t get any response on my email, I call again. They confirm that they have received my payment and that I can pick up the goods on Sunday. Not on any Sunday, on that specific Sunday, which is only 2 days away now. I emphasise again in the call that I wouldn’t want to have any issues with pick up on Sunday and the girl on the other side ensures me that there will be no issues.
Saturday. 7.30 pm. Half an hour before the store closes on that day, I start preparing everything that we need to take for the next day. I re-check my booking for the van that I rented to drive the materials from that construction store to my house, to make sure again that everything will go smoothly. So, I re-check again the working hours of the store and I find out that tomorrow is one of the rare Sundays, when their store is closed. I snap. I rush in to the car, call them on the way (I was not sitting on the driver’s seat, no worries), I ask how the heck have they confirmed the pick up of materials for tomorrow, if they are closed?! And the girl on the other side again acts very rudely and she tells me that I she can’t deal with me, as she has a customer in the store. What I am? Not a customer, who spent large amounts of money in their store?
When I arrive at the store, I see no other way than to be very strict and to raise my voice if needed. As she is still not taking me seriously and acts still very rude, I raise my voice, demand a manager and to sort this issue immediately. Manager arrives, I am still very angry, speaking in very loud tone and even security of the store arrives in case if they’ll have to interfere. You can imagine how loud my tone was, if the security arrived.
I am so so angry in that moment. I demand them to sort this out immediately, as I can’t load all the materials into my small car right now and I can’t pick them tomorrow with the van that I rented and paid, as they are not working. So, the manager makes some calls and they arrange the van that will pick up my materials and will drive them to the what ever location I choose to. Of course he apologises and promises me large discounts for all next purchases that I might make.
I really try to solve any issue in a most peaceful and nicest way, but in this case, I saw no other way anymore than to raise my voice and to show my power. To show my monster face. To act badly, and I really, truly hate this. I do believe that we can solve more things with nice tone and nice word choosing. I know that anyone can make mistake, heck multiple mistakes and I understand all of that, as we are all humans. The difference between humans is in how they will cope with that issues. Will you let someone to take the burden of your mistake or will you correct it before it reaches to the point as it reached it at the end of my situation?
At the end, I am still the one who chose to act badly at the end as I snapped. No one really forced me into raising my voice, but it was the only way that I saw it. Either be bad, or let them be bad to you. And this is the part that makes me really sad. Either being bad or let others do bad with you. And what is making me really sad is that they didn’t took me seriously, when I was polite. I tried to explain everything in polite way and calm tone, but no one cared then. When I got angry and made a scene in the store, then everything was possible. They arranged everything and even went beyond their boundaries.
Being nice and polite doesn’t mean that you don’t mean what you mean seriously and no one should take that for granted. If people are nice and polite it doesn’t mean that you can step on them and do what you want.
That store will most certainly never see me again. Never say never, but if there will be slightest chance to make my construction purchases in any other store, I will do so. No discounts that they are prepared to give me now, will never erase their beyond bad behaviour.
I will still remain nice and polite, regardless to this situation. I will not allow them to make me a monster because of this experience. I still believe that most of the things can be sorted out usually much better, when you are polite, but I also believe that issues like this should be spoken out loud, so that they will maybe sometimes learn from their mistake. If we don’t speak openly about this kind of issues, nothing will ever change. So, still, play nice, be polite, be humble and speak out if something is not correct. Only by bringing issues out on the sun, can make the difference.
